DEALING WITH SEXUAL DEVIATIONS
(Higher Values to deal with Gender Identities and Homosexuality)
Introduction:
Sex is essential for the existence of mankind and makes us beautiful. But the lack of proper understanding and awareness about Sex makes an individual look at it just as a sensation, an identity, or an act. When sex is just seen partially without balancing all the aspects, it could make an individual be depressed or exaggerated, be inferior or superior, and be isolated or seeking opportunity. Both extremes are dangerous and again when each of them is experienced separately or even combined partially, it would have a great negative effect on self or others.
The third dimension of sexuality deals with understanding LGBT (a widely used term, though varies based on a person or a community because of some differences).
Sexual Differences:
The answer to the questions “Who do I want to go to bed with?” and “Who do I want to go to bed as?” helps us understand the sexual orientation and the sexual identity of sexually mature individuals. Generally, we define ourselves as male or female, considering our physical, mental, and social circumstances.
The ‘LGB’ part of the acronym LGBT indicates one’s sexual orientation. Lesbian (women sexually attracted to women), Gay (men attracted to men) and Bisexual (both same-sex and opposite-sex attractions in the same individual). ‘T’ (Transgender) of the acronym indicates sexual identity. It is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity or gender expression does not conform to the sexual identity that they were assigned at birth.
In terms of sexual orientation, transgender people may be Straight, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or even Asexual, just as non-transgender people could be. Transgender people usually label their sexual orientation using their gender as a reference. For example, a transgender man, or a person who is assigned female at birth and transitions to male, who is attracted to other men would be identified as a gay man.
Fluidity is another concept that’s gaining a lot of weight in the sexuality and identity discourse. Proponents argue that sexuality and identity are not static and fixed but are dynamic and fluid, freely flowing from one to another. In terms of sexual attraction, it is argued that one could move from hetero to homo to bi-sexual and back. It’s also argued that this can happen with one’s sense of identity, moving from male to female to gender non-conforming and back.
A false grounding of our identity and an undue emphasis or affiliation to our so-called identity markers can do us more damage in the long run. Sadly, here we see that the all-encompassing idea of identity is forced into a small facet called sexuality and an attempt at meaning, purpose and significance seems to be rooted in that 'fluid' framework!
Biblical and General views regarding the third gender:
‘Eunuch’ is an archaic word that’s used very loosely in the modern context. When Jesus speaks of ‘some made that way, some born that way’ in Matt 19:12, he’s speaking about celibacy and contextually it translates as a reference to people that are ‘frigid’ and a closer modern descriptor would be someone that is asexual. However today we use it to refer to gender-nonconforming (transgender) people.
For thus says the LORD: ‘To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.’” (Isaiah 56: 4, 5)
Intersex is a congenital, biological condition where an individual has ambiguous or indeterminate genitalia, or where there is a discord between a person’s chromosomes and bodily gender.
Another crucial piece in this discourse that we (both the LGBT community and the non-LGBT) so often tend to ignore is that we all are part of this fallen world! We are all fallen people. We all are sexually broken!
Complexity and Confusion:
Understanding sexual differences and LGBT is undoubtedly a complex one. It’s not just a moral one. It has emotional, physical, psychological and sociological complexities built into it. The indication name in the 1970s has the acronym LGB (lesbian, gay, bisexual) and has evolved to LGBTQQIP2SAA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, pansexual, 2-spirited, asexual and allies) in recent times. Here, we are dealing with a community of people who claim their sexualities to be so diverse; ever expanding to include every conceivable variation (each group wanting its inclusion/representation) from the binary, male and female.
Sadly, 41 percent of transgender people attempt suicide compared to 1.6 percent of the general population.
We need to empathize and understand the thoughts connected with the LGBT issue and respond to the community sensitively and sensibly without belittling the people and God, by our perception and exposure.
Approaching the Sexual Deviation:
Any sexual act could be destructive when the person acts out of self-control and behaves in such a way as to gratify himself with whatever means possible. It could be constructive when the person acts out of control and commitment towards one person with whom he wants to be intimate for the rest of his life. The sexual act could never solve the problem of sexuality for it only intensifies it till the sexual energy is completely drained in an individual. But Commitment and Intimacy make the sexual act enjoyable and make life more content even after sexual energy is completely drained, that is the beauty of God’s creation and the wondrous disclosure behind sexuality. Sexuality is only one part of a person’s life that should be balanced with other emotions and cognitions.
Mostly everyone says that immorality is wrong but no one explains why sexuality exists, what it is all about, and how we need to handle it. Thereby it could be understood only after careful study and analysis that sexuality has an influence on a person’s feelings of shyness, pride, submissiveness, acceptance, and commitment when the real purpose of sexuality is understood and when the act is not just mechanical.
"The simple takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in airing his opinion" (Proverbs 18:2).
Insecurity and Rejection
The people in the LGBT community sense, a heightened level of alienation and rejection. This is clearly hard to process amidst their ongoing quest for identity and that, in the wrong places (esp. sexuality). All this leaves them seeking affirmation, acceptance and belonging. This has resulted in the movement that we see today - a championing of sorts for ‘rights' and 'safe places' where they could be protected from suffering further hurt or rejection. Oftentimes, this finds release as push-backs, propaganda and protests.
Supporting and Upholding one another:
All of us made in God's image, carry the wonderful capability and desire for relationality. We desire to be loved and we thrive maximally when we have the opportunity to express our love too. This is because our Maker is essentially love. The unique tri-unity in the personhood of God makes this relationality within the God-head a reality!
We have to understand that there are genuine people who are physically male but psychologically and biochemically female, and vice versa. Some people portray themselves as a different gender than what they actually are, for sexual indulgences. Both of them face insecurity and rejection, and the first category of people needs support to build and be themselves as they are, and the second category of people needs correction and reconciliation.
A combination of sensation, identity and act for pleasure, intimacy and procreation:
Sexuality helps to identify the gender of the person with the specific characteristics associated, for we are designed as male and female. The purpose of sex in its nature and design is for pleasure, intimacy and procreation, accompanied by intimacy between a male and female who are committed to one another. When the act of sex is sought only for pleasure, it will not be pleasure but it will become a dependence and compulsive disorder. The man and woman were made to be intimate with one another so that they may be one in the flesh which could be only possible only when intimacy exists between a single man and a single woman.
We are, Male and Female based on our physical nature or characteristics, sometimes gender may be unidentified with or by certain individuals. All human beings couldn’t deny the fact that they are all composed of physical, emotional and intellectual aspects. This makes the humans very distinct and when there is a deviation or imbalance in consideration of all the aspects, there could be instability and even confusion, because all the aspects are not just controlled by self but influenced by the environment. Even the gender identity of an individual is put into confusion due to the influence of the environment. It is very much necessary to understand gender and sexual feelings physically, emotionally and mentally.
Homosexual or Bisexual Act and Sex with multiple partners is sought mostly for pleasure and sometimes it is sought to be intimate and committed but that is just temporary and it is just like building a castle in the air.
Different aspects in which gender is identified:
Physical Aspects
Physically, a human being is identified based on gender through their genitals. Sometimes there could be some defect in the genitals or even some internal sex organs that the gender could not be identified more definitely through the physical attributes. Men have their own physical nature and sexual stimulation and women have their own sexual stimulation due to the difference in their physical structure. The design of human beings is unique and special, in that everything is very much interrelated which makes them more complex to understand both by self as well as by others. Men and Women exist naturally to complement one another and their structures were designed based on that.
Psychological Aspects
Psychologically, a human being is identified based on gender through their behaviour. Men have their own style and behaviour that is mostly authoritative and dominant whereas Women have their behaviour that is mostly submissive and considerate. The way of walking, talking, sensing, in-taking, pursuing and so on varies differently for men and women.
Emotional Aspects
Emotionally, a human being is identified based on gender through the way they feel. Men are mostly courageous and take the lead with less seriousness about security and closeness. Women are mostly dependent and serious about their future wanting for security and closeness.
Social Aspects
Socially, a human being is identified based on gender through the way they are treated. Men are mostly given independence to roam around all alone and get the freedom to choose whereas most women are not allowed to act independently, having a lot of restrictions in a very closed environment.
Sexual Stimulations:
Every human being who has attained the age of adolescence has a hidden sexual urge or an impulse that could be turned on anytime and completely affect any human being by deviating them from the values and principles when it is not carefully tamed. A person identifies the clear difference in being a specific gender after the age of adolescence. The sense of shyness and search for identity arise at this stage. The person’s way of looking at the opposite gender is no longer the same as it was before adolescence but it completely changes. The person gets to know the sexual drive through many sexual stimulations which could be through seeing something that involves physical intimacy between two beings, seeing the opposite gender sensitively, hearing or talking about sexual things, talking casually or sensually with the opposite gender or even through a simple touch or intentional touch, especially in the sensitive organs. The stimulations need not be always external, they could be also internal. Even a simple thought or reflection and self-touch in the private organs or giving pressure in the genital arena could turn the sexual impulse.
Dealing with Sexual Impulses:
While there is a sexual stimulation or erection, automatically some hormones in the body start secreting and it would stop its activity only when a person takes a very strong turn back to leave the stimulation at that very point or leave the erection unnoticed. Stimulations could be external or internal with consciousness whereas erection is not conscious and occurs when the body fluids are filled in a sexual organ. Most people would give way to it by self-indulgence or continuously seeing or hearing sexual things to get to the point of ejaculation or orgasm and continuous points of ejaculation or orgasm still get bored at that particular moment or sexual energy is completely drained at that particular moment. Some people who are courageous or who don’t care about other people indulge in sexual activity with the other person to gratify their sexual urge, the person whom they indulge could be a means for their sexual stimulation or may not be a cause. All the means of indulging with sexual impulses either involving others, materials or self without a purpose would be very temporary and never be pleasing with joy and satisfaction and it would be just vain.
The means of dealing with sexual urges or impulses differ for different people at different periods at different places. For instance, at times when the person is alone or in a comfortable place, the sexual urge would be mostly considerate of the physical aspect alone and at times when the person is in a committed relationship like marriage, the sexual urge would be considerate of physical, psychological, emotional and social aspects.
Dealing with the changes:
Though there could be some measures that could be thought of to control sexual desires such as avoiding loneliness, being involved in creative or interesting activities that could deviate the mind, spending time with people, fleeing from the stimulations, etc., sometimes it doesn’t provide a solution to control the sexual desires as we are born with the sexual identity and the intensity of the sexual desires are much intense. At the same time, we cannot be alone being completely in the sexual thoughts when it is unhealthy for us emotionally or psychologically, involving in some creative activities may be helpful as we cannot avoid being alone at times as there will not be people around all the time. Spending time with trustworthy and beloved people who are really interested in our well-being could be valuable in controlling sexual desires. Fleeing from the stimulations and immediately deviating the mind would also be fine in controlling sexual desires. Though there are a lot of measures that could be taught, the intensity of the sexual impulses is very great as it could nullify the efforts and make us indulge till temporary emphatic reliefs are achieved. Thereby it needs a strong commitment to avoid sexual thoughts, stimulations and impulses.
There are several stories of sex-reassignment surgeries that in retrospect now are extremely damaging to the individuals involved.
Most of the LGBT community doesn't have many deep-thinking, understanding, sensitive and sensible role models and good counsellors to help the younger ones walk on the right path. And the non-LGBT community fail to empathize with the LGBT community and most of them are not equipped to help them to do what is right.
Inappropriate way of handling:
The sexual impulses that are untamed would make a person less productive in personal and other arenas of life. The person who doesn’t tame sexual passions will defile the self by much stimulation and defile others when (s) he indulges in intimate relationships with them without a commitment. And, indeed, sexual passions are never going to be fulfilled even if a person has intimacy with thousands of other people. The untamed sexual impulses are ever-ending and directionless not only affecting the self but also others when they are involved. The untamed sexual passions only ended in the destiny of death or strong physical impairment.
Higher Values:
There will be a great sense of accomplishment and joy that surpasses all knowledge and understanding when a person can preserve the self from sexual impulses without acting with someone and waiting to a point of a committed marital relationship and bondage, after which they can express themselves which would promote great intimacy that is much pleasing, joyful and great than having a sexual relationship with thousands of persons of the opposite gender for temporary gratification. Thinking consciously and constantly about a future partner who is unknown and who will be a close associate may help control the sexual desires within the self.
Constructiveness and Destructiveness of Sexuality:
The nature of sexuality is special within every individual. It could be destructive or constructive to self or others based on our perception and execution. It could be destructive when the person acts out of self-control and behaves in such a way as to gratify himself with whatever means possible. It could be constructive when the person acts with control and commitment towards one person with whom (s) he wants to be intimate for the rest of his life. The act of sexuality could never solve the problem of sexuality for it only intensifies it till the sexual energy is completely drained in an individual. But Commitment and Intimacy make the sexual act enjoyable and make life more content even after sexual energy is completely drained, that is the beauty of God’s creation and the wondrous disclosure behind sexuality. Sexuality is only one part of a person’s life which should be balanced with some other emotions and cognitions.
We shall practice allowing the other person to get their rights or privileges as we get them for ourselves, we shall not do an act to the other person that hurts them as we don’t allow it to be done to us, we shall let the other person live their life that is joyful and respectable, as we try to live our life.
Act of Homosexuality is unnatural and unacceptable:
In ancient days, few men were very cruel to have sex with even men (Gen 19:5, Judges 19:22). Women too had homosexuality (Roman 1:26). Homosexuality is a detestable sin (Lev 18:22), the man who practices it should be put to death (Lev 20:13). Here, it is clear that the sexual indulgence is purely for self-gratification and it is unnatural.
Homosexuality could be reasoned with so many controversies but the essence of human gender is male and female though it may controversially differ in physicality and mentality. The problem of sexuality is with every human being, which needs to be tamed appropriately with Godly values. Some people exist without gender identity due to physical, mental or social problems that should be acceptable and need to be dealt with appropriately. However, some people choose to be transgender for self-gratification and to have sex with the same gender, which is evil.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9
Sexuality is one of the greatest wondrous of God which would be a mystery or just an act for gratification without knowing the master behind it. Sexuality defines the uniqueness and speciality of human beings as handicrafts of God the creator. The act of sexuality removes the cleavage between committed man and woman, to be one in flesh with the greatest sense of oneness though they differ in many things (Matt 19:5,6). The whole book of Songs of Solomon in the Bible describes the admiration of the bride and bridegroom, one another physically, emotionally, psychologically and socially.
Conclusion:
The Sovereign and Almighty God could alone completely guide and give hands to control the sexual desires, helping to act appropriately at the right time at the right place with the right person in spite of all our limitations and inability. Believing in the author of all helps us to use sexuality for pleasure, procreation, or intimacy with constructiveness.
For everything God created is good, and nothing should be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. – 1 Timothy 4:4, 5
We are either too gracious or comforting to the extent that it borders on condoning the evil intended sexual act and lifestyle of LGBT. Or we are too truthful and clobber people leaving them bruised and battered beyond 'redemption'!.
All of us are God’s image and our identity and purpose need to be defined in God (Gen 1: 26-30), then we will not be influenced by our physical, mental, psychological and social aspects, but handle the changes of life in a balanced way through the armour of God (Eph 6: 10-18) and using the fruits of the spirit (Gal 5: 22, 23) by always repenting, and renewing ourselves.
Whoever we are, we need to always look up to Jesus Christ - the identity-giver, the redeemer, the restorer, the transformer, the one who makes all things new!
References:
English Standard Version- Proverbs 18:2; Matt 19:12; Isaiah 56: 4, 5; Gen 19:5, Judges 19:22; Roman 1:26; Lev 18:22; Lev 20:13; 1 John 1:9; Matt 19:5,6; 1 Timothy 4:4, 5; Gen 1: 26-30; Eph 6: 10-18; Gal 5: 22, 23.
https://blog.saftapologetics.com/the-christian-response-to-homosexuality-part-1/
https://blog.saftapologetics.com/the-christian-response-to-homosexuality-part-2/
https://blog.saftapologetics.com/the-christian-response-to-homosexuality-part-3/
